When I was a kid, I asked my mother what will I be . Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
This was she said to me” Que sera sera what ever will be , will be our future’s not ours to see. Que sera sera”.
Then I started humming this song over and over again…
Last night , I saw a beautiful full moon. It was really fascinating. I really don’t understand but when I was a little kid , I have always been amazed with its natural beauty. It looks beautiful and incredible to me. ( Sinasaniban mode) .
Before I go to bed , I make sure I get to see the sky and look as if the moon is always around. I always want to see the moon outside of my window. If the moon shows up , I stare at it for a few minutes or even hours . Then I would imagine myself looking at those dark blue clouds wrapped in a gorgeous halo. whoa , it’s really beautiful.Then my night becomes nostalgic. When I look at the sky, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia. #emo mode.
I was a kid back then when I once asked my mother when would I ever touch or reach the moon. It was following me wherever we went. Then she was laughing at me and explained how special I was to her. I did not really get the answer that I wanted so I ignored it. Then the following night, I went outside of the house to confirm it. It was unbelievable.I was really amazed to learn and find out that the moon was really following me . It would stop whenever I stopped . It was crazy and I began to think that I was really special like my mother told me.
I was on my second grade when my mother left the country to work as a teacher overseas. I cried hard to see my mother leaving. I questioned myself why in the world she did that . I thought, I heard she said I was special. It took years to finally be able to realize why she had to leave us and seek for a greener Pasteur outside of the country.
Until now , the feeling of craziness is still there whenever I look at the moon wrapped with shining stars. It’s still following me. On a bus going back home, it was always following me. It’s always there guiding me wherever I go.
Things changed when I got older. I then realized the moon out there followed all kids around. The moon was following everyone around which gave me an impression that I was not that special. I felt I was a complete idiot when my friends told me the same things I was feeling whenever I see the moon.
Now that I have grown up, I still enjoy staring at the moon at night. Recently, I had a memorable trip to Baguio City. Inside a bus from Manila to the city of Pines I waited for the moon to come out. And I was really glad the moon showed up. I was staring at it, held my hands open a little bit facing each others palms, then I remembered mama. Then afterwards, I felt some sort of energy. An unexplained energy which was running through me. I just really could not explain how I felt that time but one thing is for sure I noticed no-one would either look at me in my face or sit beside me while I was doing that. Maybe they thought I was going crazy .
Tonight, I will finally see the supermoon. It’s the biggest and the brightest full moon of the year brightening up in the sky . Then I wonder about how it might look like in other places or in other countries. I could imagine myself at the peak of a mountain of Pundaquit or at the beach of Calaguas, Burot , Nagsasa, Bantayan or Malapascua staring at the beautiful full moon. I can imagine how fascinating it could be in those beautiful places.
I have traveled to so many places alone. But next time , I will let my mother join me in one of my trips somewhere. I am so glad that the Lord has given us time to become closer. I guess that is what’s important in our lives. To become closer with God and family. My father died when I was still a baby so I did not know exactly how it feels like to have a father. I never had the chance to tell him how much I love him . Life is really hard but hard times can really make you a better person. If you still have your mother with you, hug her and don’t forget to say how much you love her .
Happy Mother’s day Mama. You are my super moon.
This is an entry to Pinoy Travel Bloggers’ Blog Carnival themed Traveling with your mom (A Mother’s Day special).
Alvin Sabay of The World Behind My Wall hosts May 2012 Pinoy Travel Bloggers’ Blog Carnival.
Click on the Blog Carnival Logo on the left to see more interesting blog carnival themes.